My Dearest Abigail,
     Being with you was oh so wonderful; a joyful time, and yet, there was a hint of sadness in the air. I think it was longing.
     We long to be complete in each other. Very soon, we will be. Then, the longing will be soothed, but only in part; we'll still feel a longing. Lewis called it sehnsucht. There is more to this life.
​     Oh Abigail, very soon you'll be mine — but only for a short time. This union God is making, it is wondrous, beautiful; but this union won’t last forever.
For you are Christ’s — you belong to him, and he’s given you to me for a time. To be a companion for you.
     And so, I pray with all my heart that in this short time we have together God would use me to sanctify you for him. For Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior.
     Abigail, you’re so beautiful… but one day I’ll see you — you will be radiant, and more beautiful than I ever will have seen you here on earth: you will be complete in Christ. We’ll see each other and we’ll smile, because we’ll see each other complete in HIM. We’ll be beaming.
     This — this is our longing. What Christ himself is longing for. Imagine… And everything I do for you here must be with that goal in mind. This is why God has brought us together; let us live — now and always — for HIS coming.
     “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
     Let us us die to ourselves — give ourselves to his purpose, and blossom in praise.

     I love you,
     Jebi

​Caught Up in Clouds is a collection of acoustic-electronic hymns I'm recording right now, and plan to release in the near future. This has been a project in the making (but mostly in my head) for some time, and it began with an untimely death.

The photo of the clouds is one I took on a flight to California for the funeral of my Uncle Philip. He was one of my dearest friends and it was so hard to lose him. Since then I’ve lost others who were dear to me. Death feels like a bottomless pit, a vacuum. But according to the Bible, death — for the believer in Jesus Christ — isn’t the end.

In fact for the believer, death is gain; it is sweet. My uncle, who lived and died in Christ, is with the Lord: safe and whole, more than ever before. That’s a far cry compared with how death looks from my vantage point and yet, I believe it’s true. I believe that the perfect Son of God tasted death for every man, woman, boy, and girl, and that to believe in him alone is to never die. I believe, as the Scripture repeatedly says, that Christ is coming again for those who belong to him and are waiting for him — his bride.

I want to be a part of that resurrection, that final reunion, that catching up. I want to know what this sorrow is all about. I want to see the beauty the pain produced. I want to make it to the end, when the Son of Man makes all things new. The songs on this album found me in a time of great sorrow and discouragement. They pointed me to the skies; they reminded me of the hope — the expectancy — of the imminent return of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ

"Jesus said, 'I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me, even if he dies, will live.'"
(John 11:25 CSB)

     There must be a balance — a fine line — between being a daft doomsday prophet, and giving God's actual words of warning, in these last days. "Both prophet and priest ply their trade through the land and have no knowledge." Dejavu.

     I get tired of these Christians — brothers, yes, but going to extremes and making God's word of no effect. Inaccurate escatelogical interpretation is ugly and can often tamper the interpreter's witness, as well as the witness of the Christians around him. God's Word is not a game.

     But I need to be careful to not be like "the prophets prophesying lies in God's name" when I'm trying to set straight a brother who seems to be hyper-prophetic. I need to be careful never to go against God's Word, only the error. Sometimes, I have the tendancy to go the opposite extreme and become apathetic to the prophetic Word. God can speak through a donkey and the donkey's pagan prophet owner, and God can speak through a messed up Christian.

     And the lying prophets who said "all is well, all is well" were just as much God's prophets as Jeremiah was. But only Jeremiah listened to God's voice. There is a worse judgment waiting for the erring prophet, than for those they've mislead.

     Father, I need to hear your voice.